I didn’t know anything about the concept of transformation. All I knew was that I was going through major difficulties in my marriage. The issues that my husband and I brought into the marriage meshed perfectly to create a dysfunctional relationship that was very destructive.

My self-esteem was at an all time low. I would burst into tears in the middle of the workday. I lived in an almost constant state of fear like a caged animal. I felt that there must be something fundamentally wrong with me.

Part of me wanted to run out the door as fast as I could and never look back. But another part of me felt I had to stay and make the marriage work. After all, I had made a forever commitment.

I decided to stay. Although this was an extremely trying phase of my life, I instinctively knew it was important for my personal growth. I became determined to learn as much as possible about myself, my husband and how to make our marriage better. Despite all the reading, therapy and inner work I was doing, our relationship continued to spiral downward. I felt caught in the spin cycle of competing emotions. I wanted to leave the marriage, but I also felt like I needed to stay.

Then one night in meditation a clear image came to me. I was clinging to a craggy rock face that was cutting my hands and making my fingers bleed. I knew I couldn't hold on much longer, but I feared that if I let go, I would fall and impale myself on even sharper rocks below. Then a voice deep within the core of my being said to me, "What if you let go and instead of falling on sharp rocks, you fall into a big pile of fluffy pillows?“

With this shift in mindset, it became clear that my choice to leave was a commitment to freedom and fulfilling the next phase of my personal development. I was finally able to divorce, move on and begin to soar.