(Except from The Heroic Path to Self-Forgiveness: Change Your Story, Change Your Life by Marion Moss Hubbard, Ph.D.)

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”
—John Quincy Adams
Great American Diplomat, Secretary of State, and Sixth President of the U.S.

Many years ago, I was frustrated that it was taking so long to complete a project I had been working on for several years. I was very hard on myself about how difficult it was for me to synthesize the information. I was getting whiny with friends about it and relentless in chastising myself. I questioned whether I was being too much of a perfectionist on my work product and wondered whether I would be better served to just put out something, even if it wasn’t as good as I would have liked.

Right after I began this line of self-questioning, a series of synchronicities (meaningful coincidences) occurred in rapid succession. One night after my meal at a Chinese restaurant, I opened a fortune cookie that said, “Patience comes to those who wait.” I was in a group gathering soon after that where we were each offered an inspirational “Angel Card” from a basket of cards. The one I selected said, “The virtue of patience is patience.” I was at home one evening shortly after that and decided to draw a rune from the bag of ancient Viking oracle stones to give me guidance about my project. The one I drew was Harvest. One of the statements of counsel for this rune in The Book of Runes had particular meaning to me, “There is no way to push the river; equally you cannot hasten the harvest. Be mindful that patience is essential for the recognition of your own process, which in its season, leads to the harvest of the self.” My first reaction was to toss the rune across the room in rejection. Instead I decided to draw from the bag again to get a different message. I put Harvest back in the bag, mixed up the 25 runes, and drew the same rune! Now I was more than a little agitated and said angrily to myself, “I’m tired of being patient!” My internal Wise One laughed at this immature part of me, knowing that I had received exactly the message I needed.

Patience is still one of my biggest personal challenges. Conceptualizing is so much easier than execution, whether it is related to a project, doing inner work, or responding differently to others who trigger me. There is nothing like writing books, especially ones about the introspective journey of coming to know ourselves, that has given me lots of opportunities to practice patience!

I now realize that there is little else that can put a damper on my enjoyment of being in the moment more than being impatient with myself. It shows me the remaining pockets of inner work I need to do on self-trust. Now when I feel impatient, I question why I doubt that my inner wisdom is leading me in the right direction. I also look at this inner challenge as yet another opportunity to forgive myself for being a human who is still figuring out what life is all about.

Your challenges related to patience may be different than what I’ve experienced, but the need for patience seems to be universal. Philosophical perspectives and spiritual traditions throughout history have included patience as a major tenet. As human beings when we are given a choice, we have a tendency to choose short term rewards over those that are long term, even when there are greater benefits associated with what awaits us in the long run. Patience helps us consciously overcome this tendency. In the face of delay, difficulty, stress, strain, pain, annoyance, and anger, patience helps us persevere, so we can reap the rewards that better serves us.

From a Heroic Journey perspective, patience is a reflection of our personal maturity. Maturity comes from patiently following our inner guidance that leads us toward the long term rewards, even while our ego and the unconscious parts of us urge us to take a shortcut to instant gratification. Patience helps us endure the challenges put before us, knowing that each experience helps us grow in wisdom, so we can better fulfill what we came to earth to do.